Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize