So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
