that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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