i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
