i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
