This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
