dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
