what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
