so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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