Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize