He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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