So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
