you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You have to summon your inner elephant
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
