Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
