I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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