North Korea, Best Korea!
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
