When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
