I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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