Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
