well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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