just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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