respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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