just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
