I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
