lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
