i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
