But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Just pee around me
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
