Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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