So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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