i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
