I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
