i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
