Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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