I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
