Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
