Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
