Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
