I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize