"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
