her vagine was all disorganized.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
My hand turned me down
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
