This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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