Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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