Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
