are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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