and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
