do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
