Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
