If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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