the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
