Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
