it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
