he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
