some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
