it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
