Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
