Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
