Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I need a beard to bite.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize