So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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