i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
