i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
