found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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