Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
