There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
