did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I need to align my fucking chakras
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize