I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
What a fucking waste of an outfit
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
