Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
