it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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