i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
